I R Alive

Currently listening: S/mileage - aMa no Jaku / MM Gakuen Gasshoubu - Kirei in Naritai
Currently reading: Dramacon Ultimate Edition
Currently watching: Pokemon videos & clips on YouTube
Current obsessions: Aya Matsuura, Erina Mano, Code Geass (EuphiexSuzaku <3333), Dramacon, Pokemon
Mood: Happy, Tired, Meh

Holy fudge cupcakes, long time no blog. I missed blogging so much. My freshman year of college consumed my life and these past few months I drowned in papers, Japanese shukudai, and Touchstone layout ;_;. I have barely enough time to sleep and each, let alone blog. I became the Features/Editorial editior of Touchstone (Yay!!), so I'd have late nights doing layout, and then afterwards I'd get back to my room and still have homework. Seriously, the entire last month I went to bed at like 4 or 6:30 in the morning XD. But it, even though the year had its ups and down it was still fun, I suppose. I've met some great friends, so thats good, and I really love working on Touchstone and Graffiti, especially since its going to help me with my writing. Plus, all my hard work paid off - my overall average was a 3.8 and I have like 50-something credits. Go me :)

Now that the summer's here I am on concentrating on a lot of things. I've been working at the pizzeria on Fridays and Sundays, so I've been making some cash there. I signed up to take an Italian class (Italian Conversation 2) at WCC which doesn't start until July, and I'm actually leaving for a two week vacation to Italy tomorrow! :) It was very unexpected - I know my Dad planned on going because he wanted to go out to work on the apartment we have up here, but he told me last week I could go with him, and then two days later we booked the tickets ^^; And I'm leaving tomorrow, returning on the 26th. At first I was guilty and stunned that my Dad said I could go, but now I'm really really excited! I'm so stoked to see the family again, and it'll be nice to just chillax in Anagni for two weeks. Plus, I can look for more Scegli Me! manga :D The timing is also good because I can use my Italian and get back into speaking just in time for my class.

In addition to keeping up with my Italian and having a sort of job, what I really want to do this summer, the two  things that I am focusing on are 1) writing and 2) improving myself. First, writing. I don't know why but my creative writing class sent me into a bit of a slump. I somehow lost my writing muse, and I determined to find it again. I don't know where it went, but I lost the thrill I get - the arlenaline rushing through my reins that tells me "I can do this" and lets me know that I'm on a roll. I find myself question myself, asking "Is this a good story idea?" "Will people like it?",. I feel like I'm at a point where I can't think of a good idea and I wonder if I will ever writing something again, and my fire dies before I can lite it. I hate being at this point, I hate doubting myself. So this summer I can going to try really hard and writing a novel in a month, or at least by the end of the summer (Need to prep for Narrative Writing anyway). I know I can write and I know I love to write, so I just need to dig deep, get out of this rut, and overcome this cloud of writers block that has been raining over me. Perhaps being away for a while will help clear my mind... too bad I'll have to go old school with a pen and paper while in Italy because my mom needs my laptop here T_T.

But yeah - writing is my number 1 priority. Next is my self image. I really dislike the way I look, the way I eat, my hair, my teeth, my skin, everything. I want to be thinner, prettier, healthier - I look at girls in Hello! Project and the actresses in my K-dramas and think "I want to look like them. I want to be that thin.". And so when I get back I'm giving myself a total makeover. I'm going to get my hair cut and do highlights, I have a few dentist appointments lined up, and I'm going to work out everyday. I seriously wish I could just eat whatever and not have to worry about gaining weight because I love food so much - it's not like I even eat a lot, and I don't eat junk food at all - but I think if I just drink more water, have stronger will power, eat more fruits and veggies, and exercise every day, I can do it <3 I hate myself the way I look right now, so I really want to become prettier and thinner.

So yup, that's basically what's up with me right now. I really hope this summer turns out to be a great one; a summer where I can change myself and writing some of my best material ever. Oh and remember how I was mentioning buying a Mac or a smaller laptop to carry around with me for writing purposes? Well I actually ordered a netbook a few weeks ago, and I can't wait until it arrives! It's a Dell Mini 10, so cute! I talked about it with my mom and was telling her how I wanted something to take around with me so I can type and have somethign on me for whenever inspiration strikes. Its good, because I won't have outside distractions with a netbook, since I'll solely be using it for writing and possibily checking emails. I paid more than normal people pay for a netbook because I gave it the best settings I could and had to install Microsoft Basic since it didn't come with Word initially, but I'm still never happy I got it. I really can't wait until it arrives - I have a feeling I can really get a lot more work done with it.

I can already see now that I have a busy summer ahead of me ^^; See you in two weeks! <3

PS I want a boyfriend sooooooooo bad ;_; Someone just like Suzaku would be great ^__^

PPS Euphie x Suzaku are the cutest anime couple ever <333333333333333

CHUU!!!

Currently listening: AKBIdoling!!! - Chuu Shiyouze!
Currently reading: Sundays at Tiffany's
Currently watching: Shugo Chara! Ep. 6
Current obsessions: Aya Matsuura, Erina Mano, Morning Musume (and their new album), Junjou Romantica, Nintendo DS, AKBIdoling!!!, Shugo Chara!, Kamichama Karin
Mood: Ok

For once in my life I have no homework. Just gotta reread a story for Italian, but that's it. And I doubt I'll get homework tomorrow because I already did my Japanese due Monday, and I usually don't get work in Precept or History of Modern Japan. It's a good time to blog : )

So yeah, last week was hellish. I worked on Yamada's paper all week, and finally finished it on the weekend with a total of 14 pages. I also had to write my article for Touchstone, and I spend all day Saturday doing the layout, which we eventually finished Tuesday night. And in addition to actual school work, I BSed my way out of some Anime Club meetings and got to see a movie with Anthony and his friends. Then of course, had work on Sunday. I fucking hate working with Heather, but I need the money. I really hope Steven fired her or makes her switch her day, because she's is so fucking annoying and it takes everything I have to hold back from killing her because she is such an annoying tip-stealing bitch.

But yeah, this week is definitely more low-key. I met with Karen King-Sheridan on Tuesday to discuss my freshman paper, which she was perfect content wise but it would just be stronger if I fixed my thesis and narrowed what I was discussing in my paper down a bit, which I plan of doing. I hosted another overnight last night, and despite my saying I would never host again I did. Not only did the $25.50 tempt me, but the girl this time was really nice, and she was a dancer, which was cool. Then today I did my schedule for next semester. I got into all of my  classes!!! <3 I was so nervous and freaking out this morning, because Narrative Essay only had 3 spots left so I was all "Oh, fuck" XD, but I got in. I had to drop Great Cities for Journalism, because Karen wanted me to be in 2 classes that had to do with my major, and honestly I did so, so there went Great Cities. I can always just grab an add/drop form and do a credit overload thing in a few weeks, since Karen guarunteed Great Cities would not get filled up. Lol. I'm just glad everything worked. And here's my schedule for next semester:

Monday:
9:20 – 10:35 AM: Journalism I
10: 45 – 12:00 PM: Japanese II
12:10 – 1:25 PM: Advanced Italian
1:35 – 2:50 PM: Critical Research & Composition

Tuesday:
12:10 – 1:00 PM: Japanese II
4:20 – 6:50 PM: Narrative Writing I

Wednesday:
9:20 – 10:35 AM: Library Research for Composition

Thursday:
9:20 – 10:35 AM: Journalism I
10: 45 – 12:00 PM: Japanese II
12:10 – 1:25 PM: Advanced Italian
1:35 – 2:50 PM: Critical Research & Composition

Friday:

Mondays and Thursdays are totally gonna be a bitch (how am I supposed to eat lunch?), and I have to wake up for 9:20 practically every morning (UGH!), but at least I have Fridays and for the most part Wednesdays off!! <3 I'm really nervous for next semester: Not only because of the classes I'm taking (a lot are like 3000 classes), but also because I'm really involved in Touchstone now. I'm going to be on the Editorial Board, and now tonight Melissa was telling me how she wanted me to handle Graffiti too, since she's graduating this year and that the kind of writing (poetry, story exerpts, etc.) done for Graffiti is more of my major - narrative writing. I now it's gonna be a bitch load of work, but I don't care. I'm so honored, and at the same time a little scared because I don't know how demanding Journalism and Narrative Essay are going to be, and it's gonna be hard recuiting new people and doing layout and stuff, but it's totally going to pay because I know this is what I want to do, and I need all the practice and training or whatever you call it now. ^_^ But yeah, I can already tell that next semester is going to be crazy, haha.

I think the reason why I'm so nervous and unsure of myself is because my muse decided to go on a long fucking vacation and not tell me. Seriously, I feel like my mind is so blank and I hate it. I hate not having any ideas or inspiration, I feel so... vulnerable, or something, so unsure of myself as a writer. As it doesn't help that I'm constantly preoccupied by homework or Touchstone or meetings or work or life. I swear, the second I get out of school in May I am going to sit outside on my deck with a glass of lemonade and my laptop and just write my ass off. I want to get some of the fanfics done for my challanges on Livejournal, and not to mention I always want to start getting story ideas for Narrative Essay, since by the end of the two semesters I have to have 40 pages of stuff done. I think the next time I go to Barnes and Noble I may browse the teens section for some ideas for something.

I've also been contemplating buying a Mac recently. I think all whole using Macs to do the Touchstone layout has gone to my head. I love my Dell, don't get me wrong, but I'd also like to have another smaller laptop, like a Macbook, to carry around with me and to strictly do writing on. Eh, not sure. I know I can't afford one now anyway, but since I'm going to be a writer it would be nice. I think when this semester is over I'm going to delete everythong that's on my external hard drive and put everything on my laptop on there, and keep the external hard drive plugged in my laptop all the time and us that as the hard drive, to save space on my actual laptop. Then again, I could always look around for used Macbooks.... hm.....

PS Erina Mano sings the soundtrack to my life <3. Otome no Inori is so beautiful <3 Oh, and I also managed to snag her official autograph off eBay for $24. Thank you HPMusume ;) He sent it Express International Mail too, so I'm going to check my mailbox tomorrow and hope for the best. You can bet I am putting that baby in a frame!

PPS I also think I am going to ask my parents if I can take Italian classes during the summer. I don't want to forget everything I learned all over again.

PPPS Now I want summer to come >_<

メロメロ って なんだ?!

Currently listening: High-King - C\C (Cinderella\Complex)
Currently reading: Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson
Currently watching: Junjou Romantica 2 Ep. 8
Current obsessions: Morning Musume, Cinderella the Musical, Erina Mano, Junjou Romantica, Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, Nintendo DS
Mood: Meh

Thank God this week is Spring Break. Like honestly, I needed it so bad. These past few weeks I've had so much school work, and last week I went to bed at 3 AM like every night >_<. The snow day on Monday didn't help either - it was good because I slept until 1:30 PM and got to finish working on my Writing Seminar paper that was supposed to be due that day, but it put me in the "I don't give a poop" mood all week. It was such a waste - the only good that came out of it was that I got to hang out with Ellie and watch Q.E.D and Junjou Romantica. But whatevs, I'm on break now <3333.

I went to work for the first time in like three weeks yesterday. Who the hell gets sick for practically a whole freaking month and can't go to work for the lousy one day a week they work I don't know - apparently me (but I kind of can't wait on tables if I'm sneezing and coughing my ass off). Anyway, I've been feeling much better these past few days, and I was really excited to be back at work. Heather wasn't there, so I actually had a good time and made good tip money - about $40!!! :D One guy actually left me a $20 tip, I wasn't expecting that ^^; I mean sure he ordered like $100 worth of food, but whatever. Steven also finally paid me for Super Bowl Sunday, but he didn't have enough cash or something to actually pay me for yesterday, so he'll give me that this week ^^; Hehe.

Today was meh. I had a facial in the morning, stopped by Lord and Taylor and bought a super cute LeSportsac bag, then came home. The rain ruined my plans to walk to Cross County, and weather like this just makes me tired. I took like a 6 hour nap >_< Haha. Mom wants me to get my blood tested because since I told her I'm like tired all the time now, she thinks I'm anemic :P But I think it's just because I'm a college student.

I have my Japanese midterm the Monday I get back to school, so I'm going to start studying tomorrow. I'm gonna go to Maria Regina with Liz on Wednesday, so if I run out of things to do during the day I figure I'll bring my books with me and study some more in the library then too. I'm trying to plan and hang out with AJ Friday, then Saturday me and Mommy and Ellie are going to the Palisades :D WOOT!!! Kristin and I are also trying to hang out because we need to eat Korean food like ASAP, lol. I'm also excited because I'm going to see a movie with Daddy and I'm also gonna go out with Nancy too this week ^__^ Gotta enjoy it while I can!!! <33333

PS I am such an idiot - I left my DS in my dorm room >_<

PPS Talking to Jackie and playing around on Twitter have totally made my past two days :D MSN is the cutest messenger ever!!! <3333 (Mel, you should totally make one so we can chat! <3)

PPPS  TERRORIST IS LOVE BB!!!! <333333

I CAME BUCKETS!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

PPPPS Contrary to my previous plans, I will sadly not to be going to LA to see Momusu :( I thought about it, and it cost waaaay too much money - with the plane, hotel, and con, it would be well over $1,000 (plus my parents said hell no). Now it turns out they're only performing on only one day, so it's definitelt not worth it. Plus side is that my parents sais that if they ever come to the East Coast or when I ever go to Japan I can go see them :)

HOLY FUCK

MORNING MUSUME WILL BE PERFORMING AT ANIME EXPO IN LOS ANGELES IN JULY!!!!!

I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SAVE UP MY MONEY AND FUCKING GO!!!!!

Forget a Dollfie Dream, forget all CD singles and DVD coming out, forget Spring Break, forget summer classes, forget getting any gifts for my birthday. I'll sell any manga I hate or will never read again. I AM FUCKING GOING NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

Now excuse me as I go have a brain aneurysm.

So many cute Japanesey things, so little money to buy them with

Currently listening: °C-ute - ★Akogare My STAR★
Currently reading: Strawberry Panic! Light Novel Vol. 2
Currently watching: Q.E.D. Shoumei Shuuryou Ep. 4
Current obsessions: Morning Musume, Erina Mano, °C-ute, Dollfie Dream, Lolita fashion, cutesy shoujo anime
Mood: Sick, bored

Ah, blogging - how I missed thee *hugs Xanga* It's weird - I've been busy and not busy at the same time lately. The hustle and bustle of school still hasn't seemed to kick in for me yet, and I actually haven't had homework over the weekend these past few weeks, but I haven't found the time to just sit in front of my computer for a good amount of time and write a good blog entry. At the moment all my class seem pretty low-key and I don't find myself overworked quite yet - the only class I extremely dislike is History of Modern Japan. I swear my professor can't teach for his life (the guy gives us Wikipedia handouts), and I don't feel like I'm learning anything - all we do is group  projects which basically just involve reading and summarizing, but whatever, it's easy. I suprisingly really enjoy  Tai'chi, and my Writing Seminar seems to be a little slow moving, but I'm really enjoying that too. I'm hoping and assuming this semester will go a little more smoothy and be less stressful on me than last semester - after all, I don't have that godforsaken Approaches to Creative Writing class anymore, and if I could handle that I'm sure I can handle anything. Touchstone seems to be more demanding this semester, but whatever - it's the school newspaper and even if it's hard it's only benefit me because I want to be a writer anyway.

This weekend was not one of my bests. I was all emo Fridat night after going to Nancy's mother's wake, and on top of that I've been sick since Saturday with a horrible headcold. I couldn't get any sleep this weekend and my head felt like it was constantly throbbing, so obviously I couldn't work on Sunday, but I am a lot better now. My nose just hurts from blowing it for like 3 days straight, and since I ran out of tissue boxes and have only a handful of mini tissue packets at my disposal, I hope I fully recover soon. I was so sick I didn't want to get up from my bed and spend some time on the computer. How horrible is that?

Comicon was also Saturday, and I swear I'm never going again. It's so not worth it. I did happen to purchase a uber cute strawberry Pocky tote bag and Papa to KISS IN THE DARK DVD (I didn't even know it was released over here! <3), but I got bored really quickly and thus don't feel it's worth the time, money, or energy. Mostly the money, because right now I really wish I had that $40 to spend on Erina Mano's PB, which I plan on buying eventually.

And while on the subject Manoeri, effing Hello! Project is going to send me crashing down into debt. I've bought so many CDs since the year began, and right now I'm trying to come up with the money for even more stuff: Aya's newest single Chocolate Damashii - which is currently #1 on my list since I plan on buying it for myself as a Valentine's Day gift -, Erina's PB, which I mentioned, Koharu's new single, and of course Morning Musume's new single which will be out in about a week. However, Aya's single and Erina's PB are my top priorities. I already downloaded Koharu's single, and since Naichau Kamo is going to be on Momusu's upcoming album anyway, it would be kind of stupid to spend about $20 when I can just download it and buy the album in a month. I really get enjoyment from buying my singles, but I really want to start saving my money. I've bought a lot of albums lately, so I'm sure the H!P gods won't spite me for just downloading stuff for a while. °C-ute's new album is suprisingly really good, and that means a lot considering I've always favored Momusu and Berryz to °C-ute, and of course Omoi Afurete from Aya is absolutely AMAZING. I plan on writing a full-fledged rant about it in the near future, because it just needs to be done.

One thing I want more than anything, however, is the limited edition Dollfie Dream Dynamite Escalayer VOLKS has for the Valentine Fair Lottery. She's soooooooooooo pretty!!! <3 I absolutely love her pink hair and cute face!!! Some of her, um, body proportions are a big outrageous, but unlike the short dollfies I think she's proportionate, especially considering she's a character from a hentai anime (I only know because I Googled the series 'Beat Angel Escalayer'). She's like $600-something, but still.... I WANT HER SO BAD!!!!! <3 <3 <3 maybe I can try talking to my mom about possiblu buying a lottery ticket for this weekend lol. However, the event of that happening is very unlikely. Plus, how the hell would I pay for her if I won? No birthday present for a while, I suppose LOL.

Must save money, must save money, must save money....